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Inviting a Conversation - Vicki Cobb

Inviting a Conversation

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I do a lot of public speaking—author visits with children, professional development with teachers, keynotes, family nights, etc. It seems to me that the kiss of death at the end of a program is my asking “Are there any questions?” Occasionally, one brave soul has one and is willing to speak out in front of the group. I know that they want to talk to me because after a presentation; people come up and hang around. This is a very different atmosphere from, say, a meeting of my condo association where you can’t shut some people up. 

Lately I’ve been doing a substantial amount of videoconferencing. If you have never done it, know that it is a different animal from being in the room and making a presentation. It is also very different from a phone call. The key to a successful videoconference is its interactivity. It needs to be some kind of conversation. A straight presentation, doing the same program as you do in person, is not as effective as actually being in the room. A live audience adds a dimension of energy and involvement that cannot be duplicated when people watch you projected on a wall or as individuals watching on their computers. If you’re going to do the same presentation on a screen as you do in person, you might as well put it on a DVD where you can use higher production values. So my problem became: what can I do to get people to talk?

Why not ask them a question? It has to be one that they want to answer, that they’ve thought about, is not leading (where the question suggests the “right” answer), and requires more than a “yes” or “no.” Does the right question invite a conversation? You bet! Here’s the question I asked a small group of teachers in a videoconference: What would it take for you to be the teacher you always dreamed of being? A torrent of words followed. They wanted more autonomy in the classroom, they wanted to be asked to voice their opinions and taken seriously by their administration, they wanted a say in the educational policy of the school, they wanted more parents to be involved in their children’s education, and on an on. Dreaming and speaking are a prelude to action. If action was ever to follow our conversation, at least they had spoken of areas that needed work.

For me, this videoconference was an eye-opener. I began thinking that perhaps I do too much talking and not enough listening. I learned how much more restricted today’s teachers are than when I was in the classroom. These teachers aren’t having any fun. So I decided to have a conversation with my thirteen-year-old grandson, Jonathan who has just finished seventh grade. You should know that he is every teacher’s dream student, bright, hard-working, thoughtful and kind.

“Jonny,” I asked, “how many of your teachers do you think are having fun teaching you? By fun, I mean that they are engaged and interested in what they’re doing.”

Jonny thought for a long time and finally said, “My sixth grade language arts teacher.”

“How do you know that a teacher isn’t having any fun?” I then asked.

Instantly, Jonny replied, “Because I’m not learning very much.”

I am now thinking about asking questions, really good questions, wherever I go. It’s a challenge.

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