Bullies & Their Victims
by Curtis Sliwa

I was no saint, let alone an angel of any kind, while pounding the books at St. Matthew’s. It was an elementary school run by the Josephite nuns in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. I’m still haunted by memories of the vibrations from their glares and stares and the sting from their three-foot long rulers cracking down on my knuckles.

They controlled the classroom and were in every part of our lives, even though there were 36 of us in the classroom. They could do it because we stayed in that one class and weren’t swapped from teacher-to-teacher, subject-to-subject.

Then came the 4th grade. There was a new kid who had been left back. He was the bully who was all over you in the cafeteria, in the school yard. He’d come up next to you and whisper in your ear, threatening mass destruction on your way to and from school, courtesy of his pals who went to nearby public school that got out 15 minutes earlier and could be ready to roll-up on you.

He’d never beat you himself. He was a Fagan-like character. If you complained, you’d get more grief. He’d ratchet it up. He was empowered by this more than he feared the nuns.

There was so much pressure, my grades plummeted from straight A’s. I started looking for reasons not to go to school. I had an appendicitis attack from the tension and stress, so I transferred to a public school in the Canarsie section of Brooklyn.

The manipulation broke my confidence, but it eventually made me strong. The bully, unlike the prevailing profile, is often the most charismatic, the most outspoken and gregarious. He’s a real modern-day Eddie Haskel of Leave It To Beaver fame. If left unchecked, the bully will eventually turn his sights on the teacher, pushing to see how far he can get. Then teachers will start calling in sick because it’s not worth it to them to deal with these predators day-after-day, hour-after-hour.

In our anti-bullying seminar that we are bringing to school systems around the country, we use members of the Guardian Angels to role-play, as victims of the bullies, teachers, apathetic students and naturally, the bullies. It’s interactive, as teachers and students rotate roles. There is more information and free step-by-step guidelines on our Web site, www.guardianangels.org.

The bullying may not be all out in the open for teachers to see. It thrives because people in the school systems rarely, if ever, communicate with each other.

That’s why everyone has to share information. It’s vital for the system not to separate itself—white-collar administrators and teachers from the blue-collar school bus drivers, crossing guards and cafeteria workers, who tend to be more street smart and have a better understanding of what’s going on outside the classroom.

If left unchecked, there will never be détente between the bully and the teacher. You have to neuter the bully or remove him before he creates more havoc.#

Curtis Sliwa is the Founder and President of Guardian Angels.

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