Letting Little Hands Reach Out
by Dr. Carole G. Hankin with Randi T. Sachs

I'm in the very best stage of parenting: It's called grandparenting. My three children have given me seven grandchildren all under the age of seven, and most are under the age of three. They live in various parts of the country and quite often they all come to visit at once. It's always an adventure.

Of course I'm always interested in their intellectual development, and I find it fascinating to watch them as they encounter new things and then decide what they are for. Since they are my grandchildren, I have the luxury of indulging them. But the best gift I can give them is to just say "yes" when they make a new discovery. Having several toddlers and infants over at once makes the message of the need for preventive "child-proofing" sound loud and clear. When it's four, five, six, or seven pairs of small hands reaching and touching everything they see, it's obvious that there is no room for ambiguity. We've got to keep those children safe and happy and provide them with an environment from which they can learn.

A child's curiosity is what drives them to learn. Parents need to encourage them to explore and find answers on their own from the time they are crawling and grasping things and on throughout their lives. It may be easier to just keep everything out of reach, but it is not the best thing for your child.

With the holidays all but here, I suggest that anyone who has children at home or will be visited by small children do some immediate observation and see what needs to be put away. Then I recommend you take one step further. Look around for what you can put within the children's reach and furnish your home with safe "treasures" that they can discover. Instead of having to tell them "no," when they reach for an object, you can relax and say, "Yes, you may play with that." This is especially true for children who are beyond the grab and destroy stage, three or four years old and older.

Do you have a collection of photos from your travels? Leave it where your child can discover it on his or her own, and then cuddle up and share some of your favorite stories about the places you've been. Have you kept any toys from when you were young? Your child may be intrigued with a toy that doesn't actually use batteries or have to be plugged in, and isn't some kind of alien monster.

With my oldest grandchild (she's seven) I can say "yes" to a lot of different things. If it's just her and me, we can have dessert before (and after) dinner. We can stay up as late as we want, or escape from the babies and have a grown-up excursion. It's really not that important what we do, just as long as she leads the way.#

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