Raising Awareness to Reduce Bullying in Summer Camps
By Joel D. Haber, Ph.D.
Think back to your elementary/grade
school years, and ask yourself if you can recall the top
three favorite memories of your childhood. They probably
involve something loving, connecting, or good to eat. Now,
do the same for the least favorite memories, and for many
of us, there’s a
painful memory of bullying that we may recall. Many of us can’t
remember what we had for lunch last week, but can remember
in exquisite detail the memory of a bully—and the hurt
and suffering we experienced. In the past, bullying was assumed
to be a rite of passage and something that “you just
had to go through” as part of growing up. Although the
bullying may have happened on the way to and from school or
during recess, no one really talked about it—let alone
did anything about it. Those of us involved with summer camp
thought that camp was an escape and refuge from the school
bully.
The most important thing to realize
is that the first step toward making your camp a bully-free
environment is “awareness.” No
more living in denial of the problem, but rather committed
to keeping an open mind and a clear perspective of your environment—a
comprehensive view that gives you proper influence and management
of what is happening in camp.
Bullying Behavior
Wherever children gather to study
and/or play, the potential for hurtful behavior by children
against one another is possible. Studies in schools reveal
that approximately 11 percent of children are bullied repeatedly
and that 13 percent frequently bully others. Repeated hurtful
behavior against a child can result in damage to their physical
and emotional development. This damage is not limited to the
victim though: the bully as well as the onlookers who do not
intervene may also suffer both short and long-term consequences.
Bullying 101: What Is It?
Bullying is any intentional, hurtful
act, committed by one or more campers against another. It
can also be committed by counselors against other counselors
or campers. In fact it can happen when anyone in power or seeking power intentionally
hurts another person. It is not fighting (between equals) or
rough play. Fighting between equals is really an escalation
of conflict. Rough play is normal between kids, but has a safety
net built in. If one kid says stop—it’s over.
Types of Bullying Behavior Seen in Camp
Bullying behavior is divided into
three types: Physical, Relational, and Verbal. These behaviors are further divided into
mild, moderate, and severe, which can help define the extent
of the problem and determine if a certain type of bullying
behavior is escalating. Bullying behavior usually has an escalating
pattern—it generally starts out mildly to give the bullying
child a chance to observe a victim’s reaction. This can
escalate in severity if the victim does not send a signal to
the bully that this behavior is unacceptable. For example,
bullying that begins as a physical type can escalate in severity
with more physical bullying or move into other forms, like
exclusion and verbal harassment.
Physical
Physical bullying is the type of
bullying most easily observed and most commonly thought of
when we talk about bullying. This includes punching, hitting,
shoving, hair pulling, excessive tickling, cutting in line,
rat-tailing, defacing personal property, or stealing one’s belongings. It’s observed in
the camp environment in many forms—a child’s stuffed
animal is stolen or destroyed, a child is knocked down in front
of others, a chair is pulled out from a child before he or
she sits down, a child is physically bruised over and over
again. It also includes crossing over into one’s personal
space when a child is told not to. This can make a camper very
uncomfortable and intimidated.
Verbal
Verbal bullying involves hurtful
name-calling, mocking, teasing, gossiping, intimidation,
or threatening to embarrass a child. Verbal bullying is harder
to observe unless you are within earshot of it. The hurtful
unwarranted nickname, comments about clothes, or being told
that you are unpopular can all be meant to undermine a child’s self-worth. Verbal bullying has
to be included as bullying behavior because of its insidious
nature. How vulnerable is a child when a painful comment like “nobody
in this bunk likes you” is expressed to an unsuspecting
camper?
Types of Bullying We Don’t
See
There is evidence of a high prevalence
of counselors who bully campers and/or each other. A counselor
who bullies is a particularly difficult problem, because
children are dependant on the staff person for safety. This
type of counselor behavior may set a model that allows campers
to test out their own bullying behavior—and creates an escalation of bullying in their
campers because it is seen as an acceptable form of behavior.
It is also a problem if a child is dependant on his or her
counselor and feels afraid to report aggressive behavior to
the counselor’s superior.
I have also witnessed a camper or
group of campers bully counselors. When children feel a greater
level of power over an adult, it creates a significant problem
in the bunk. Staff may be reluctant to report this for fear
of their own job loss and embarrassment in front of their
peers—as well as
feeling a decrease in personal status among their peers.
The Bullies and the Victims
The Bullies
Today’s bullies are not necessarily the big school yard
brutes who have low self-esteem and are looking to improve their
feelings of inadequacy by bullying. A camp bully may be popular,
seek social status, be smart, well-connected, and even well
liked. Some may look like “mean girls” and some
may not. They are more comfortable with aggression and use
this to earn social rewards by making others uncomfortable
and hurting them. Usually these skills outweigh any empathic
side. They are masters at denial—and blame. The problem
is that many of these kids look and feel like “leaders.” Leaders
may be hard to differentiate from a bully because they may
have the same qualities—except they lack empathy and
a willingness to look at their own personal responsibility
for their behavior. One way to remember this when looking at
your campers or staff—leaders are inclusive and bullies
tend to be exclusive.
The Victims
Victims on the other hand, are kids
who are “vulnerable” in
some way and feel less socially connected. A camper who is
alone, less socially assertive, passive, meek, or quiet may
be an easy target. Bullies test out their power until they
find a target that won’t fight back—or won’t
get the social support they need from others around them. When
bullies see they can brutalize someone, they seek the support
of others to blame the victim for their “deserved” attack.
There are always reasons that bullies find to hurt others,
even though no one deserves to get bullied.
The “Observers”
Remember the statistics cited earlier
about the number of kids involved as bullies and victims.
In any bullying situation, there are approximately 80 percent
of kids or more who may observe bullying but may do nothing
to stop it. When victims see that observers do not step in
and help them, or counselors do not intercede, the victims
feel worse. The observers try to justify their own unhelpful
behavior. They themselves begin to “blame” the
victim for the bullying they receive. This cycle makes the
victim feel even more bullied.
Characteristics
Boys vs. Girls
Boys are generally seen as more
physically strong, so we believe that boys use physical forms
of aggression more than any other type. Not so. Boys tease
and use relational forms of aggression in summer camp more
than they do physical forms of aggression. Although “rough and tumble” play
is common in boys, they have become sophisticated in their
ways to hurt verbally and exclude other kids. These forms
of aggression can leave scars for boys who emotionally do
not know how to handle these feelings.
Girls are much more comfortable
with “indirect” forms
of communication and use verbal teasing and exclusion more
than double their use of physical forms of aggression. Gossiping
and exclusion are the two most common forms of bullying for
girls—and it has almost become a “universal language” for
them. The problem in camps occurs when counselors model this
behavior, so campers feel justified in their behavior.
Younger vs. Older
Bullying generally moves from physical forms to verbal and
relational forms as children hit teenage years. As physical
forms of bullying decrease by high school, the verbal and relational
forms can still maintain themselves. This is why we must work
to create camp environments in which this behavior is not allowed.
Camp has to be a place that is different for children and allows
them to thrive socially without the emotional and/or physical
safety fears of bullying.
School Bullying vs. Camp Bullying
School bullying occurs in the cafeteria,
at recess, in the hallway, or in bathrooms—anywhere
that supervision is lean. Bullying in the classroom happens
less frequently because the classroom is a structured place
and the power (teacher) is close by. School environments
generally have much less supervision for their children outside
the classroom.
The camp environment is generally
more relaxed than a school environment. Bullying occurs during
free time, in the shower when kids are vulnerable, or at
night when counselors may be outside the bunk. The more subtle
forms of bullying, like teasing and exclusion, can happen
when groups of kids are away from their counselors or have
less supervision. It can also happen around a counselor—if that staff person sees nothing
wrong with this behavior and is complicit in it. One of the
best markers for finding vulnerable and potentially victimized
children is to watch your bunks and observe those campers who
don’t have someone to walk with, or find the camper who
is always late to leave the bunk and doesn’t feel part
of the bunk community.
The Key
The key to all of this is that kids come to camp to broaden
their social network, improve their skills, and feel good about
themselves. For up to two months in a summer, children need
a place to feel safe with supervision that is willing to step
in and provide opportunities for them to thrive.
Camp has to be a place where physical
and emotional safety is paramount—to ensure that children have the opportunities
to grow. Without this, camps do not separate themselves from
other institutions. You can make a difference by being very
proactive about bullying reduction and prevention. Begin with
awareness, and you’ve taken the first step toward action.#
Joel D. Haber, Ph.D., is a clinical
psychologist and founder of the Respect U program. He has
held positions at University of Alabama, Birmingham Medical
School, White Plains Hospital Center and New York Medical
College and
has authored numerous articles and led conference sessions
on topics including bullying, building resilience in children
and positive parenting. For more information about the Respect
U program, visit www.ACAcamps.org/bullying .
Originally published in the 2006 January/February issue
of Camping Magazine.
